I realize that the name of my blog is no longer accurate, as I do not post daily. My life is too busy for that, and even now I should be doing other things. Oh well...
I would like to start by saying that this weekend was a lot of fun. More importantly, though, it was challenging too. If you don't know, I had the privilege of being an adult chaperon/driver for the Temple Hill youth group for the Dare 2 Share conference in Chicago. I love the THBC youth group a lot and it was awesome to hang with them again. I am a fan of Dare 2 Share a lot more than Acquire The Fire. ATF is nice and all, but D2S is much more challenging. Not only is it challenging, but they equip you and then throw you into situations right then to practice evangelism... and it's amazingly awkward.
Anywho... it was a great re-charge and greatly encouraging to gather with so many other hard-core Jesus followers. One of the kids from another group told his story of leading a guy to Christ in the middle of a gas station Friday... because he was willing to share his faith everywhere he went. That's cool stuff.
I would appreciate your prayer for my health. I am scheduling a doctors appointment to get their opinion. I have lost most of my appetite for food. I am hungry like I should be, I can feel my stomach growling, and I force myself to eat, but food just lost it's appeal to me. I'm not really sure why this is.
I need to find ways to expand my circle of influence to non-Christians. One of the main things they talked about this weekend was to think of someone in your life that doesn't know Jesus that you can evangelize to... and I was like... um... shoot. I've effectively run out of non-Christian friends that are a regular part of my life. That needs to stop. So i guess you could pray about that too.
I pray like a sissy
thought I would throw that out there.
Another conviction of mine is facebook. Ok... I use it to communicate with people, but that is just my excuse for justifying an addiction. This weekend, Derwin said "maybe you spend more time on facebook than in the Word..." when he was talking about distractions in life. yikes... that was like a knife to the chest. I'm not going to quite using facebook, but I will start being conscious of my time on it, verses my time in the Word; not because I'm going to start being religious about the way I use my time, but because I have a desire to grow closer to God and facebook is not the best tool for that... the Bible and prayer are the best tools for that.
I need you guys to keep me accountable on that.
I'm shreddin the gnar (that would be surfer lingo for going all in... going big rather than going home).
Monday, April 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Focused on Jesus
I know I just posted a blog yesterday, but it wasn't all that interesting and I thought of something interesting to talk about (ok, well, I find it interesting).
I was reading an article on the church (no surprise there) and it really resonated with things that I've been thinking about. First of all, I would really recommend reading the article (especially if you don't know what modernism and postmodernism are... since then you may not understand what I'm talking about) and I put the link at the bottom for ya'll.
(for the purposes of this rant, I am referring to the philosophical worldview of postmodernism, not the cultural view of postmodernism)
I've always had a problem with postmodernism. It has some nice qualities to it, and I can really identify with a lot of its concepts. However, I really struggle with its foundation. One of the foundational building blocks of postmodernism is that there are no absolute truths. This is in response to modernism, where essentially everything is explainable by absolutes. Of course, modernism leaves the church in a pickle because it can't explain miracles and other unexplainable Biblical concepts. Yet, on the other side of the spectrum, postmodernism destroys the authority of the Bible. If there are no absolute truths, than how can we trust the validity of the Bible? This thought process leaves some churches with the mindset that we can simply pick and chose things out of the Bible that "feel true to us".
I hold strongly to the fact that the Bible is authoritative and eternally absolute.
I also hold that there are works of the Spirit that are simply not explainable by science (not to mention that the existence of God is not explainable by science).
Therefore, I do not have a modernistic or a postmodern worldview.
As a church, we ought to hold on to the worldview that is Jesus.
We shouldn't entirely focus on proving things through science
We shouldn't entirely focus on being "hip"
We shouldn't entirely focus on being intensely structured
and we shouldn't entirely focus on being "spiritual"
We SHOULD be entirely focused on Jesus and doing what He did.
I used the word "entirely" because I don't think that those things are necessarily wrong, as long as they come second to being focused on Jesus.
I would also like to point out that I rarely see those priorities in the right order in churches, but it does happen.
That is my rant on the church's worldview, thanks for reading... oh, and here's the link for the article that got my brain moving.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/columns/church-today/348-stick-a-fork-in-it-postmodernism
I was reading an article on the church (no surprise there) and it really resonated with things that I've been thinking about. First of all, I would really recommend reading the article (especially if you don't know what modernism and postmodernism are... since then you may not understand what I'm talking about) and I put the link at the bottom for ya'll.
(for the purposes of this rant, I am referring to the philosophical worldview of postmodernism, not the cultural view of postmodernism)
I've always had a problem with postmodernism. It has some nice qualities to it, and I can really identify with a lot of its concepts. However, I really struggle with its foundation. One of the foundational building blocks of postmodernism is that there are no absolute truths. This is in response to modernism, where essentially everything is explainable by absolutes. Of course, modernism leaves the church in a pickle because it can't explain miracles and other unexplainable Biblical concepts. Yet, on the other side of the spectrum, postmodernism destroys the authority of the Bible. If there are no absolute truths, than how can we trust the validity of the Bible? This thought process leaves some churches with the mindset that we can simply pick and chose things out of the Bible that "feel true to us".
I hold strongly to the fact that the Bible is authoritative and eternally absolute.
I also hold that there are works of the Spirit that are simply not explainable by science (not to mention that the existence of God is not explainable by science).
Therefore, I do not have a modernistic or a postmodern worldview.
As a church, we ought to hold on to the worldview that is Jesus.
We shouldn't entirely focus on proving things through science
We shouldn't entirely focus on being "hip"
We shouldn't entirely focus on being intensely structured
and we shouldn't entirely focus on being "spiritual"
We SHOULD be entirely focused on Jesus and doing what He did.
I used the word "entirely" because I don't think that those things are necessarily wrong, as long as they come second to being focused on Jesus.
I would also like to point out that I rarely see those priorities in the right order in churches, but it does happen.
That is my rant on the church's worldview, thanks for reading... oh, and here's the link for the article that got my brain moving.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/columns/church-today/348-stick-a-fork-in-it-postmodernism
Monday, March 9, 2009
community
With a few edits and touch-ups this morning, my term paper is finally complete. I really can't express how relieving that is. So now, I'm going to take a bit of time to write here before i get back to the rest of my homework.
If you read my last post (well... last two, since they were basically one) you can see that I've been a little discouraged. Ok, a lot. So, let me update everyone on this. Yesterday might have been the worst of it (didn't help that I had a splitting headache). There wasn't anything in particular that happened yesterday that would have worsened it, it was just cumulative I guess. Anyways, I just sort of vegged out in front of the TV last night and stopped caring about reality for a while. I will finish out this thought by saying that today is much better. The roller coaster is clearly going back up.
I'm pretty excited for March Madness... anyone else? GO STATE!
I'm tired of being in this state of not belonging anywhere. It's really bizarre, and I don't like it. I have friends all over the world, but I don't feel at home anywhere. Well, I feel at home at camp, but that only consumes 3 months of my life and then its back to being homeless. I see people having real community and I long for it, but it always seems just outside of my grasp. I don't even have a hometown to go back to and visit it seems. The actual place is still there, but practically none of the people i knew remain there.
Community... its just one of those things to add to the list of "later". It'll happen later in life when I'm established. really?
I get the feeling that its like tithing... in the sense that if I don't get in the habit of it NOW, it's delusional to think that I will later in life "when I'm established". like I'll ever be "established" anyway... lets face it.
I'm a little curious if my splitting headache yesterday was related to the fact that I didn't have any coffee all day... In which case I should probably detox
who knows... it could have been completely non-related.
If you read my last post (well... last two, since they were basically one) you can see that I've been a little discouraged. Ok, a lot. So, let me update everyone on this. Yesterday might have been the worst of it (didn't help that I had a splitting headache). There wasn't anything in particular that happened yesterday that would have worsened it, it was just cumulative I guess. Anyways, I just sort of vegged out in front of the TV last night and stopped caring about reality for a while. I will finish out this thought by saying that today is much better. The roller coaster is clearly going back up.
I'm pretty excited for March Madness... anyone else? GO STATE!
I'm tired of being in this state of not belonging anywhere. It's really bizarre, and I don't like it. I have friends all over the world, but I don't feel at home anywhere. Well, I feel at home at camp, but that only consumes 3 months of my life and then its back to being homeless. I see people having real community and I long for it, but it always seems just outside of my grasp. I don't even have a hometown to go back to and visit it seems. The actual place is still there, but practically none of the people i knew remain there.
Community... its just one of those things to add to the list of "later". It'll happen later in life when I'm established. really?
I get the feeling that its like tithing... in the sense that if I don't get in the habit of it NOW, it's delusional to think that I will later in life "when I'm established". like I'll ever be "established" anyway... lets face it.
I'm a little curious if my splitting headache yesterday was related to the fact that I didn't have any coffee all day... In which case I should probably detox
who knows... it could have been completely non-related.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
A Clarification
Let me clarify my previous blog post (so please read this in conjunction with the next one).
When I speak of passion, I am talking about my Africa passion. The actions, or lack there of, of the church have only made me more passionate about other things.
I very excited about what the future holds, and I know the church will do great things.
Recent experiences, such as serving at the boiler room, have been incredibly inspiring.
I want everyone to know that I am not giving up on "the church", but rather, I seek to help it where it has fallen.
My frustration yesterday comes from my Africa passion being sucked out of me by the apathy around me. I want to be passionate and on fire to help these people, but I've lost it and I need a jump start.
Peace and Love
When I speak of passion, I am talking about my Africa passion. The actions, or lack there of, of the church have only made me more passionate about other things.
I very excited about what the future holds, and I know the church will do great things.
Recent experiences, such as serving at the boiler room, have been incredibly inspiring.
I want everyone to know that I am not giving up on "the church", but rather, I seek to help it where it has fallen.
My frustration yesterday comes from my Africa passion being sucked out of me by the apathy around me. I want to be passionate and on fire to help these people, but I've lost it and I need a jump start.
Peace and Love
Friday, February 27, 2009
Fears Coming Alive
I'm having a hard time getting my mind to focus back on homework again after I had to take a break and go to an appointment. So, I figured I would do this for a bit.
What I have feared most about coming back to America is indeed happening. I knew it would, yet I tried and tried to fight it. I'm losing the passion. I find myself buried in a stack of school books as I watch the passion for my new love drain away. It's so easy, it seems, to ease back into that state of apathy from which I came.
I knew why it would happen too, and yet there was nothing I could do about it. You see, apathy is contagious. It's a nasty virus that runs rampant in America, and I knew that I would catch it when I got back.
I even knew where I would catch it. Most people avoid a place if they know it contains a disease, but lets face it, I can't avoid the church; and I shouldn't.
The church...
After reading about the church in the Bible, it's the last place I would expect to find such a disease, but sadly it triumphs uncontrolled in the American church.
I am so frustrated by the Bureaucracy of the churches I am trying to work with. I am growing increasingly impatient of the system. The system is where good ideas go to die. I still have hope, but realistically, I am quite aware that my passionate plans will likely not make it out alive.
Before you think that I hate the church let me clarify. I am frustrated with the church to be sure. Never-the-less, the church is my mother, and God is still moving through it. I love the church and without it I would not be here.
That is all for now.
What I have feared most about coming back to America is indeed happening. I knew it would, yet I tried and tried to fight it. I'm losing the passion. I find myself buried in a stack of school books as I watch the passion for my new love drain away. It's so easy, it seems, to ease back into that state of apathy from which I came.
I knew why it would happen too, and yet there was nothing I could do about it. You see, apathy is contagious. It's a nasty virus that runs rampant in America, and I knew that I would catch it when I got back.
I even knew where I would catch it. Most people avoid a place if they know it contains a disease, but lets face it, I can't avoid the church; and I shouldn't.
The church...
After reading about the church in the Bible, it's the last place I would expect to find such a disease, but sadly it triumphs uncontrolled in the American church.
I am so frustrated by the Bureaucracy of the churches I am trying to work with. I am growing increasingly impatient of the system. The system is where good ideas go to die. I still have hope, but realistically, I am quite aware that my passionate plans will likely not make it out alive.
Before you think that I hate the church let me clarify. I am frustrated with the church to be sure. Never-the-less, the church is my mother, and God is still moving through it. I love the church and without it I would not be here.
That is all for now.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
craziness and president bashing...
Its been a while since I've posted something so I figured it was time. Then I will go into my cave of homework ne'er to return. dun-dun-dun
I did not have an original topic in mind, so this is just free flowing thoughts.
I have been rather swamped this semester, its a little crazy. It has been nice to get some positive feedback on my work recently. At least I know I'm going in the right direction with my school work. It is sad to me though that I do not have time as of late to do things that are important to me. I haven't been able to spend as much time with my small group as I want. I also feel like there are friends that are slipping away further and further into oblivion, but I am too busy to do anything about it.
I have this problem where I constantly feel that school gets in the way of life. I want to be out there doing the things I am studying. I sit on my couch studying evangelism, but I'm not doing it. I study what a church should look like, but I'm just sitting on the sidelines and not getting my hands dirty in becoming what the church should look like. I get frustrated because I am an incredibly impatient person. I want it to happen now. but then I am constrained by the system, so it can't happen now. Nothing happens now, even if it needs to.
I get sick of waiting on the system. Doesn't anyone get a sense of urgency about anything anymore?
I have mentioned this before, but lets be real. Like him or not, don't bash the president. I myself am guilty of this from time to time, but insulting someone is clearly a sin (rebuking out of love is not a sin, but president bashing doesn't qualify here). On top of that, we are to respect our authority. We should even be praying for him. Honestly, I look around and see professing Christians outright insulting Obama left and right. It almost makes me sick to my stomach. My Jesus doesn't do that, so neither will I, and if I do I hope that you will rebuke me.
It is certainly OK to question authority... in fact, I encourage it. Blindly following authority is stupid. Question everything! but, questioning authority does not mean insulting authority.
I may get flack for this one, but, just because someone is pro-choice does not mean they are a baby-killer, nor does it give you the right to call them one.
I won't even go into the homosexual-marriage debate, lest I get burned at the stake.
and before I get burned at the stake anyway because of what I have implied... I'm not pro-abortion and I'm not pro-gay-marriage.
I do know though, that Jesus loves gay people, and he also loves doctors who perform abortions.
ok, I've strayed off my original topic, to recap... disagree with him if you want, but don't bash the prez.
Ok, I need sleep so I can get up and do homework :-)
I did not have an original topic in mind, so this is just free flowing thoughts.
I have been rather swamped this semester, its a little crazy. It has been nice to get some positive feedback on my work recently. At least I know I'm going in the right direction with my school work. It is sad to me though that I do not have time as of late to do things that are important to me. I haven't been able to spend as much time with my small group as I want. I also feel like there are friends that are slipping away further and further into oblivion, but I am too busy to do anything about it.
I have this problem where I constantly feel that school gets in the way of life. I want to be out there doing the things I am studying. I sit on my couch studying evangelism, but I'm not doing it. I study what a church should look like, but I'm just sitting on the sidelines and not getting my hands dirty in becoming what the church should look like. I get frustrated because I am an incredibly impatient person. I want it to happen now. but then I am constrained by the system, so it can't happen now. Nothing happens now, even if it needs to.
I get sick of waiting on the system. Doesn't anyone get a sense of urgency about anything anymore?
I have mentioned this before, but lets be real. Like him or not, don't bash the president. I myself am guilty of this from time to time, but insulting someone is clearly a sin (rebuking out of love is not a sin, but president bashing doesn't qualify here). On top of that, we are to respect our authority. We should even be praying for him. Honestly, I look around and see professing Christians outright insulting Obama left and right. It almost makes me sick to my stomach. My Jesus doesn't do that, so neither will I, and if I do I hope that you will rebuke me.
It is certainly OK to question authority... in fact, I encourage it. Blindly following authority is stupid. Question everything! but, questioning authority does not mean insulting authority.
I may get flack for this one, but, just because someone is pro-choice does not mean they are a baby-killer, nor does it give you the right to call them one.
I won't even go into the homosexual-marriage debate, lest I get burned at the stake.
and before I get burned at the stake anyway because of what I have implied... I'm not pro-abortion and I'm not pro-gay-marriage.
I do know though, that Jesus loves gay people, and he also loves doctors who perform abortions.
ok, I've strayed off my original topic, to recap... disagree with him if you want, but don't bash the prez.
Ok, I need sleep so I can get up and do homework :-)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Looking behind the curtain...
And... we're back.
I'm sitting here in a coffee shop, wondering where I'm going.
Have you ever thought about why you exist?
I'm not talking about why "we" exist... as humans (I don't really like philosophy)
why do I exist as an individual? I believe that everyone exists for a reason. So, out of 6 billion reasons, what's mine?
I have come to terms with the fact that I may never know. But that doesn't mean that I stop wondering. I never stop wondering.
After coming back to America I find myself wondering, why was I blessed by being born in America? Why am I in that 5% of the worlds population? Why do they say I am blessed to live in America? Have we confused the difference between a blessing and a curse? I find myself a slave. I am a slave to the American dream. As much as I say I don't want the American dream, I can't take the chains off. Excuse my language, but the American dream sucks. It sucks the life out of you and it sucks the joy out of you.
I feel like a dog on a chain. Have you ever seen a dog take off after something forgetting that he was on a chain? Then you see the dog stop in mid-stride as he discovers he's tied up. I keep trying to run away from this way of life, but I try and then remember I can't. I have all of these contracts and obligations that keep me from the world outside my dog pen.
In the meantime, we do what we can to glorify God in our current circumstances. Someday I'll be free from my chain and I'll leave the dog pen, but as it turns out, there's plenty of things to do inside the pen for now. That doesn't mean, though, that I don't despise these chains.
I'm still trying to process my trip... and to be honest it's going to take a long time. Here are some random thoughts:
I will never understand how so much communication was possible between me and the street kids. Sometimes when I think about it, I forget that I didn't speak their language.
I saw joy in those kids that I rarely get the chance to witness. Someone jokingly said, "you mean they were joyful and they didn't have a Wii?!?". I can't say this more plainly, I witnessed joy in some of those boys that I have never witnessed in any child that owned a Wii. And yet, some people still have the mindset that joy is found in possessions.
Everyone should leave the country at least once in their life (sorry, Canada doesn't count). Actually, I think everyone should spend time in a 3rd world country at least once (ok, Mexico is acceptable and it's a 2nd world country... but going further away is cooler).
When I experience another culture again, I will plan to stay longer; like a semester, or a year.
So, I have thoughts about the inauguration, but this post is long enough, I'll save it.
-Peace
I'm sitting here in a coffee shop, wondering where I'm going.
Have you ever thought about why you exist?
I'm not talking about why "we" exist... as humans (I don't really like philosophy)
why do I exist as an individual? I believe that everyone exists for a reason. So, out of 6 billion reasons, what's mine?
I have come to terms with the fact that I may never know. But that doesn't mean that I stop wondering. I never stop wondering.
After coming back to America I find myself wondering, why was I blessed by being born in America? Why am I in that 5% of the worlds population? Why do they say I am blessed to live in America? Have we confused the difference between a blessing and a curse? I find myself a slave. I am a slave to the American dream. As much as I say I don't want the American dream, I can't take the chains off. Excuse my language, but the American dream sucks. It sucks the life out of you and it sucks the joy out of you.
I feel like a dog on a chain. Have you ever seen a dog take off after something forgetting that he was on a chain? Then you see the dog stop in mid-stride as he discovers he's tied up. I keep trying to run away from this way of life, but I try and then remember I can't. I have all of these contracts and obligations that keep me from the world outside my dog pen.
In the meantime, we do what we can to glorify God in our current circumstances. Someday I'll be free from my chain and I'll leave the dog pen, but as it turns out, there's plenty of things to do inside the pen for now. That doesn't mean, though, that I don't despise these chains.
I'm still trying to process my trip... and to be honest it's going to take a long time. Here are some random thoughts:
I will never understand how so much communication was possible between me and the street kids. Sometimes when I think about it, I forget that I didn't speak their language.
I saw joy in those kids that I rarely get the chance to witness. Someone jokingly said, "you mean they were joyful and they didn't have a Wii?!?". I can't say this more plainly, I witnessed joy in some of those boys that I have never witnessed in any child that owned a Wii. And yet, some people still have the mindset that joy is found in possessions.
Everyone should leave the country at least once in their life (sorry, Canada doesn't count). Actually, I think everyone should spend time in a 3rd world country at least once (ok, Mexico is acceptable and it's a 2nd world country... but going further away is cooler).
When I experience another culture again, I will plan to stay longer; like a semester, or a year.
So, I have thoughts about the inauguration, but this post is long enough, I'll save it.
-Peace
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