And... we're back.
I'm sitting here in a coffee shop, wondering where I'm going.
Have you ever thought about why you exist?
I'm not talking about why "we" exist... as humans (I don't really like philosophy)
why do I exist as an individual? I believe that everyone exists for a reason. So, out of 6 billion reasons, what's mine?
I have come to terms with the fact that I may never know. But that doesn't mean that I stop wondering. I never stop wondering.
After coming back to America I find myself wondering, why was I blessed by being born in America? Why am I in that 5% of the worlds population? Why do they say I am blessed to live in America? Have we confused the difference between a blessing and a curse? I find myself a slave. I am a slave to the American dream. As much as I say I don't want the American dream, I can't take the chains off. Excuse my language, but the American dream sucks. It sucks the life out of you and it sucks the joy out of you.
I feel like a dog on a chain. Have you ever seen a dog take off after something forgetting that he was on a chain? Then you see the dog stop in mid-stride as he discovers he's tied up. I keep trying to run away from this way of life, but I try and then remember I can't. I have all of these contracts and obligations that keep me from the world outside my dog pen.
In the meantime, we do what we can to glorify God in our current circumstances. Someday I'll be free from my chain and I'll leave the dog pen, but as it turns out, there's plenty of things to do inside the pen for now. That doesn't mean, though, that I don't despise these chains.
I'm still trying to process my trip... and to be honest it's going to take a long time. Here are some random thoughts:
I will never understand how so much communication was possible between me and the street kids. Sometimes when I think about it, I forget that I didn't speak their language.
I saw joy in those kids that I rarely get the chance to witness. Someone jokingly said, "you mean they were joyful and they didn't have a Wii?!?". I can't say this more plainly, I witnessed joy in some of those boys that I have never witnessed in any child that owned a Wii. And yet, some people still have the mindset that joy is found in possessions.
Everyone should leave the country at least once in their life (sorry, Canada doesn't count). Actually, I think everyone should spend time in a 3rd world country at least once (ok, Mexico is acceptable and it's a 2nd world country... but going further away is cooler).
When I experience another culture again, I will plan to stay longer; like a semester, or a year.
So, I have thoughts about the inauguration, but this post is long enough, I'll save it.
-Peace
