I must amend my previous post with a few clarifications. I still stand by what I said, but I can understand how things can be taken wrongly.
- If you were unsure that I was speaking about you, then I wasn't. I can say this because those whom I referred to have been spoken to regarding this.
- If you think I'm being hypocritical, it's because I am a hypocrite. So it is perfectly understandable that you would come to this conclusion.
- Am I a cynic regarding cynical people? Unfortunately yes, from time to time. But it is a cycle I am trying to break myself from.
- When I say that I am avoiding these people, it is not meant to be taken that I am giving up on them or our relationship. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I pray for them. Rather, I would liken this to a pastor who needs a sabbatical. He is not giving up on his people. He simply needs a break from them to regroup, re-energize, and return. In my struggle to become less cynical I must temporarily distance myself from people who negatively influence me in this area. However, the emphasis is on temporary.
Thanks for bearing with me on this.
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If you haven't noticed, I am right in the middle of the craziest, most chaotic part of my life thus far. I am half-way through my final traditional semester, followed by an early summer internship. The workload is tremendous. I live from week to week for deadlines. There is just no other option. If I had a major project due in 2 weeks, I wouldn't even begin to think about it for at least another week.
I say this all to say that God has used this season of my life to bring about massive change in me. He is still working on me, and I've got a long way to go, but when I look back at who I was, I don't even recognize myself. For this I am incredibly thankful.
I covet your prayers for my near future. I am hardly concerned about where I'll be 5 years from now, because it is difficult to see past the giant standing in front of me; that is, the next 4 months. I am not praying for a smooth ride or for less chaos. Rather, I am praying that God continues to use the chaos in front of me for His glory and His sanctifying work in my life.
As chaotic as these months are, I will soon need to make important decisions regarding my future. So please also pray that I will have a clear mind, amid the chaos, to make Spirit led decisions that will effect the course of my life. His will is greater than my will; His wisdom is greater than my wisdom.
Grace and Peace
