Let me clarify my previous blog post (so please read this in conjunction with the next one).
When I speak of passion, I am talking about my Africa passion. The actions, or lack there of, of the church have only made me more passionate about other things.
I very excited about what the future holds, and I know the church will do great things.
Recent experiences, such as serving at the boiler room, have been incredibly inspiring.
I want everyone to know that I am not giving up on "the church", but rather, I seek to help it where it has fallen.
My frustration yesterday comes from my Africa passion being sucked out of me by the apathy around me. I want to be passionate and on fire to help these people, but I've lost it and I need a jump start.
Peace and Love
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Fears Coming Alive
I'm having a hard time getting my mind to focus back on homework again after I had to take a break and go to an appointment. So, I figured I would do this for a bit.
What I have feared most about coming back to America is indeed happening. I knew it would, yet I tried and tried to fight it. I'm losing the passion. I find myself buried in a stack of school books as I watch the passion for my new love drain away. It's so easy, it seems, to ease back into that state of apathy from which I came.
I knew why it would happen too, and yet there was nothing I could do about it. You see, apathy is contagious. It's a nasty virus that runs rampant in America, and I knew that I would catch it when I got back.
I even knew where I would catch it. Most people avoid a place if they know it contains a disease, but lets face it, I can't avoid the church; and I shouldn't.
The church...
After reading about the church in the Bible, it's the last place I would expect to find such a disease, but sadly it triumphs uncontrolled in the American church.
I am so frustrated by the Bureaucracy of the churches I am trying to work with. I am growing increasingly impatient of the system. The system is where good ideas go to die. I still have hope, but realistically, I am quite aware that my passionate plans will likely not make it out alive.
Before you think that I hate the church let me clarify. I am frustrated with the church to be sure. Never-the-less, the church is my mother, and God is still moving through it. I love the church and without it I would not be here.
That is all for now.
What I have feared most about coming back to America is indeed happening. I knew it would, yet I tried and tried to fight it. I'm losing the passion. I find myself buried in a stack of school books as I watch the passion for my new love drain away. It's so easy, it seems, to ease back into that state of apathy from which I came.
I knew why it would happen too, and yet there was nothing I could do about it. You see, apathy is contagious. It's a nasty virus that runs rampant in America, and I knew that I would catch it when I got back.
I even knew where I would catch it. Most people avoid a place if they know it contains a disease, but lets face it, I can't avoid the church; and I shouldn't.
The church...
After reading about the church in the Bible, it's the last place I would expect to find such a disease, but sadly it triumphs uncontrolled in the American church.
I am so frustrated by the Bureaucracy of the churches I am trying to work with. I am growing increasingly impatient of the system. The system is where good ideas go to die. I still have hope, but realistically, I am quite aware that my passionate plans will likely not make it out alive.
Before you think that I hate the church let me clarify. I am frustrated with the church to be sure. Never-the-less, the church is my mother, and God is still moving through it. I love the church and without it I would not be here.
That is all for now.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
craziness and president bashing...
Its been a while since I've posted something so I figured it was time. Then I will go into my cave of homework ne'er to return. dun-dun-dun
I did not have an original topic in mind, so this is just free flowing thoughts.
I have been rather swamped this semester, its a little crazy. It has been nice to get some positive feedback on my work recently. At least I know I'm going in the right direction with my school work. It is sad to me though that I do not have time as of late to do things that are important to me. I haven't been able to spend as much time with my small group as I want. I also feel like there are friends that are slipping away further and further into oblivion, but I am too busy to do anything about it.
I have this problem where I constantly feel that school gets in the way of life. I want to be out there doing the things I am studying. I sit on my couch studying evangelism, but I'm not doing it. I study what a church should look like, but I'm just sitting on the sidelines and not getting my hands dirty in becoming what the church should look like. I get frustrated because I am an incredibly impatient person. I want it to happen now. but then I am constrained by the system, so it can't happen now. Nothing happens now, even if it needs to.
I get sick of waiting on the system. Doesn't anyone get a sense of urgency about anything anymore?
I have mentioned this before, but lets be real. Like him or not, don't bash the president. I myself am guilty of this from time to time, but insulting someone is clearly a sin (rebuking out of love is not a sin, but president bashing doesn't qualify here). On top of that, we are to respect our authority. We should even be praying for him. Honestly, I look around and see professing Christians outright insulting Obama left and right. It almost makes me sick to my stomach. My Jesus doesn't do that, so neither will I, and if I do I hope that you will rebuke me.
It is certainly OK to question authority... in fact, I encourage it. Blindly following authority is stupid. Question everything! but, questioning authority does not mean insulting authority.
I may get flack for this one, but, just because someone is pro-choice does not mean they are a baby-killer, nor does it give you the right to call them one.
I won't even go into the homosexual-marriage debate, lest I get burned at the stake.
and before I get burned at the stake anyway because of what I have implied... I'm not pro-abortion and I'm not pro-gay-marriage.
I do know though, that Jesus loves gay people, and he also loves doctors who perform abortions.
ok, I've strayed off my original topic, to recap... disagree with him if you want, but don't bash the prez.
Ok, I need sleep so I can get up and do homework :-)
I did not have an original topic in mind, so this is just free flowing thoughts.
I have been rather swamped this semester, its a little crazy. It has been nice to get some positive feedback on my work recently. At least I know I'm going in the right direction with my school work. It is sad to me though that I do not have time as of late to do things that are important to me. I haven't been able to spend as much time with my small group as I want. I also feel like there are friends that are slipping away further and further into oblivion, but I am too busy to do anything about it.
I have this problem where I constantly feel that school gets in the way of life. I want to be out there doing the things I am studying. I sit on my couch studying evangelism, but I'm not doing it. I study what a church should look like, but I'm just sitting on the sidelines and not getting my hands dirty in becoming what the church should look like. I get frustrated because I am an incredibly impatient person. I want it to happen now. but then I am constrained by the system, so it can't happen now. Nothing happens now, even if it needs to.
I get sick of waiting on the system. Doesn't anyone get a sense of urgency about anything anymore?
I have mentioned this before, but lets be real. Like him or not, don't bash the president. I myself am guilty of this from time to time, but insulting someone is clearly a sin (rebuking out of love is not a sin, but president bashing doesn't qualify here). On top of that, we are to respect our authority. We should even be praying for him. Honestly, I look around and see professing Christians outright insulting Obama left and right. It almost makes me sick to my stomach. My Jesus doesn't do that, so neither will I, and if I do I hope that you will rebuke me.
It is certainly OK to question authority... in fact, I encourage it. Blindly following authority is stupid. Question everything! but, questioning authority does not mean insulting authority.
I may get flack for this one, but, just because someone is pro-choice does not mean they are a baby-killer, nor does it give you the right to call them one.
I won't even go into the homosexual-marriage debate, lest I get burned at the stake.
and before I get burned at the stake anyway because of what I have implied... I'm not pro-abortion and I'm not pro-gay-marriage.
I do know though, that Jesus loves gay people, and he also loves doctors who perform abortions.
ok, I've strayed off my original topic, to recap... disagree with him if you want, but don't bash the prez.
Ok, I need sleep so I can get up and do homework :-)
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