It's that time again... time for: Nate writes a blog because he can't sleep again.
I am going to camp tomorrow! going to camp brings me joy. I am going to be there until Thursday, which is when I have my dentist appointment in Caddy. Then I will be returning for the zombie walk, which will be a good time. Then back to the apartment, where we are having like 10 people spending the night... I guess we'll have to blow up the air mattress... haha
My good friend Tyler Racey posted a blog on xanga, so I read it, and then I remembered that I used to have a xanga. So I read all my old posts (all like 6 of them). That was pretty interesting. Then I remembered I had an old Livejournal account that I used before that. So I read a bunch of those, and I teared up a little. Just looking at all of those friendships that I have drifted away from; it made me kinda sad. I guess that's how life works though, you move on. At least I have a couple HS friendships that I have held on to, I am thankful for that. There was one point right after I graduated where did one of those survey things. This one in particular had you think of 20 people and write down something you wanted to tell them but couldn't/wouldn't... or just how you felt about them... and the catch was you didn't say who you were talking about/to. Sadly, today, I could only identified half of them. That means I don't even remember how I felt about people. Thats how far behind me my highschool mindset is. I don't know how I feel about that. you move on.
My HS marching band is going to state this weekend! GO RP!
They have been owning the competition this year, but the competition has been edging closer every competition, so we shall see. It should prove to be a close competition.
Why I do youth ministry
I was sittin in my interview a few weeks ago and she asked me why I want to work with youth. Lots of people just give the answer: because it's what I feel passionate about. I am sure, in most cases, that it is a true answer. What I have come to find in life is that God doesn't just randomly give you a passion for something (maybe in rare instances... cuz God does whatever he wants), rather, He allows certain things to take place in your life that cause you to have that passion. There is always a reason, but it may take some digging to find it. When asked, why youth ministry? many people say that it's because of an adult in their life, when they were a student, that cared for them and changed them. Interestingly, my story is quite the opposite. I have seen what such a relationship does for a student, but as a student, I didn't really have that experience. Outside of my home (and I say that because I couldn't ask for better parents, I want to make that clear), I never had that guy who would ask me how my walk with the Lord was going, or take me out for coffee and just talk about life. I think that is why I want to be that guy. That is the reason behind my passion. Have you ever thought about why you're passionate about something?
I'm going to try and sleep again.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Stalkers; the church and Tiger Woods church; and God supplies!
So, I was curious how many people read this thing so I put up a little hit counter -->
Apparently I have quite a few online stalkers. It's okay, don't feel any guilt if you are one, I invite people to read my thoughts. My blog is 2-fold in purpose; I want to let people know what is going on in my life because I am sure there are people that care. Secondly, I have thoughts that run around in my brain and if I don't write them down, I will lose them. These thoughts and ideas are often in their raw form and carry with them the current emotion I am dealing with at the time of the post (that's what makes it a blog, as opposed to a collection of essays). Please take note that because of the emotional aspect to the thoughts, it may be occasionally offensive to certain people. Not specific people mind you, but groups of people (I think you will find the group that most often should be offended by my thoughts is the church as is seen in American culture today).
That's my disclaimer.
If you would like to stay anonymous as a stalker that's cool, but I always am curious who reads these things, so give a shout out if you think of it!
on to today's post: two things
We talked a lot at the family ministries conference today about change and some very interesting things were said. Here is an interesting quote that I like a lot: "the worst enemy of being great is being good" let me explain. When you are good at something you tend to think that there is no reason to change the way you do it; why try to fix something that is good? Because it's not great! Here is an example from the world of sports: Tiger woods was good, he was really good, but he looked ahead and saw that he would not be able to achieve greatness unless he made some risky, revolutionary changes to his game. He decided to redesigned his swing (a decision that has hurt some golfers) and it paid off huge.
Sometimes we continue with status quo with our church programs, but we need to step back and say "this program works, it is good, but is there a revolutionary change we could try that could help us achieve greatness?". That is scary to do, especially for people who don't like change.
second thing
I just figured out my current finances. I worry everyday how I am going to come up with rent/loan-payment/utility-bill money, but at the same time I am so excited to see where God will come up with it! I know that God wants me where I am right now. People criticize me for not having a job or going to school right now, but this is where I am, and it's obvious that God wants me here. I have enough money to last me another week, what more could I ask for at the moment? You know, it's interesting. I asked God to put me in a situation where faith in Him was necessary for existence, well I got it, and I'm not regretting that request. I can't wait for Africa, where I'm confident that God's answer to that request will become even more evident.
Apparently I have quite a few online stalkers. It's okay, don't feel any guilt if you are one, I invite people to read my thoughts. My blog is 2-fold in purpose; I want to let people know what is going on in my life because I am sure there are people that care. Secondly, I have thoughts that run around in my brain and if I don't write them down, I will lose them. These thoughts and ideas are often in their raw form and carry with them the current emotion I am dealing with at the time of the post (that's what makes it a blog, as opposed to a collection of essays). Please take note that because of the emotional aspect to the thoughts, it may be occasionally offensive to certain people. Not specific people mind you, but groups of people (I think you will find the group that most often should be offended by my thoughts is the church as is seen in American culture today).
That's my disclaimer.
If you would like to stay anonymous as a stalker that's cool, but I always am curious who reads these things, so give a shout out if you think of it!
on to today's post: two things
We talked a lot at the family ministries conference today about change and some very interesting things were said. Here is an interesting quote that I like a lot: "the worst enemy of being great is being good" let me explain. When you are good at something you tend to think that there is no reason to change the way you do it; why try to fix something that is good? Because it's not great! Here is an example from the world of sports: Tiger woods was good, he was really good, but he looked ahead and saw that he would not be able to achieve greatness unless he made some risky, revolutionary changes to his game. He decided to redesigned his swing (a decision that has hurt some golfers) and it paid off huge.
Sometimes we continue with status quo with our church programs, but we need to step back and say "this program works, it is good, but is there a revolutionary change we could try that could help us achieve greatness?". That is scary to do, especially for people who don't like change.
second thing
I just figured out my current finances. I worry everyday how I am going to come up with rent/loan-payment/utility-bill money, but at the same time I am so excited to see where God will come up with it! I know that God wants me where I am right now. People criticize me for not having a job or going to school right now, but this is where I am, and it's obvious that God wants me here. I have enough money to last me another week, what more could I ask for at the moment? You know, it's interesting. I asked God to put me in a situation where faith in Him was necessary for existence, well I got it, and I'm not regretting that request. I can't wait for Africa, where I'm confident that God's answer to that request will become even more evident.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Its a mental journey that never ends...
So I was thinking (which I do too much maybe... thinking that is), how weird it would be to go back 4 years and see what I was thinking then. I know one thing, it would look nothing like what it does now. Here is a list of a few of my thoughts of what my future would look like when I was 4 years younger than I am now:
I will be a veterinarian
I will have a large house with a white picket fence and a guest house out back
I will have a nice car
I will have a wife
I will have lots of kids
I would never work in full time ministry
I would never want to work with inner-city kids
homeless people scare me
I love America
I would never want to live outside of America
Yeah, so if you have been keeping up with my life, you can kinda see how much God has changed my views on life. I was pretty narrow minded in those days, and God has molded me his own way, whether its the way I wanted or not (almost in every sense, it was the opposite direction I was trying to go).
All of my life I have been planning my future. Apparently, all my life God has been steering me away from those plans. Right now, I am at a point in life where I am not comfortable. I am content with being uncomfortable though, but that doesn't mean I like it. I know now that nothing I had dreamed my life to be will become reality.
I was talking to a friend today and sharing my journey. She gave me some inspiring encouragement. She said (summarizing): Nate, whatever God has in store for you, you will grab on to it and do great things. Maybe you will never have a wife and kids, but how much more joy will be brought to your life when hundreds of people come to know Jesus because of what you have done!?
A truth that I must never forget...
This verse has been changing my life and will continue to do so forever:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
I will be a veterinarian
I will have a large house with a white picket fence and a guest house out back
I will have a nice car
I will have a wife
I will have lots of kids
I would never work in full time ministry
I would never want to work with inner-city kids
homeless people scare me
I love America
I would never want to live outside of America
Yeah, so if you have been keeping up with my life, you can kinda see how much God has changed my views on life. I was pretty narrow minded in those days, and God has molded me his own way, whether its the way I wanted or not (almost in every sense, it was the opposite direction I was trying to go).
All of my life I have been planning my future. Apparently, all my life God has been steering me away from those plans. Right now, I am at a point in life where I am not comfortable. I am content with being uncomfortable though, but that doesn't mean I like it. I know now that nothing I had dreamed my life to be will become reality.
I was talking to a friend today and sharing my journey. She gave me some inspiring encouragement. She said (summarizing): Nate, whatever God has in store for you, you will grab on to it and do great things. Maybe you will never have a wife and kids, but how much more joy will be brought to your life when hundreds of people come to know Jesus because of what you have done!?
A truth that I must never forget...
This verse has been changing my life and will continue to do so forever:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
Monday, October 20, 2008
The Joy of Victory Requires Resistance
Its been a little while since I wrote something.
This weekend was sooo good! It started early, Thursday that is. Mike Carpenter and Casey Butler came to stay over! So the first night we ended up staying up till 4am talking about various things, mostly theological and also telling stories of spiritual warfare.
Side Note:
Lots of people don't believe that angels and demons participate in our everyday lives, but let me tell you this: If there is not serious spiritual warfare going on around you, I am led to question if you are truly following Jesus. If there's not, and you are truly following Him, then you are very blessed. I like to use evident spiritual warfare as a measurement of if I'm doing the right thing. If God is using me to advance His kingdom in huge ways, there will be huge resistance. God moved in HUGE ways this past summer, and let me tell you from personal experience, there was HUGE resistance. I have crazy stories if you ever want to hear them.
Back to the weekend:
It was just great to hang out with those guys. Patrick also stayed here quite a bit over the weekend, and provided much entertainment.
Sat night I went to the Jenison Marching Band Competition and it was sweet. Amy came with me cuz she felt bad that I was going to go alone...haha. We saw Cait there and sat next to her and her shores friends. Reeths-Puffer rocked the house (but what can I say, I'm REALLY biased). I quite enjoyed Jenison's show too, they have some work to do, but I hope they can bring to competition to state finals (what fun is a competition if no one is close to beating you?).
The Future:
My calling in life is becoming clear. Straingly, I think I knew it all along... I just didn't think I did for some reason.
Me and Mike Carpenter are both ticked off at the "church". I should say, what has become known as the "church" in our culture. Coincidentally, our skills and gifts fit together perfectly for Biblical church leadership. It's actually not a coincidence... I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in God's plan.
I know now that someday I will start a Biblical church with Mike Carpenter. For now, I wait patiently, prepare, and pray. I would appreciate your prayers for this. Like I was talking about above, by saying that I believe God is going to do huge things, I am proudly putting a big fat target on my chest. I will embrace my target, because if it wasn't there I must be going the wrong way.
In the meantime, I still lack a job, temporary direction, and a college degree; I would also appreciate your prayers on that.
This weekend was sooo good! It started early, Thursday that is. Mike Carpenter and Casey Butler came to stay over! So the first night we ended up staying up till 4am talking about various things, mostly theological and also telling stories of spiritual warfare.
Side Note:
Lots of people don't believe that angels and demons participate in our everyday lives, but let me tell you this: If there is not serious spiritual warfare going on around you, I am led to question if you are truly following Jesus. If there's not, and you are truly following Him, then you are very blessed. I like to use evident spiritual warfare as a measurement of if I'm doing the right thing. If God is using me to advance His kingdom in huge ways, there will be huge resistance. God moved in HUGE ways this past summer, and let me tell you from personal experience, there was HUGE resistance. I have crazy stories if you ever want to hear them.
Back to the weekend:
It was just great to hang out with those guys. Patrick also stayed here quite a bit over the weekend, and provided much entertainment.
Sat night I went to the Jenison Marching Band Competition and it was sweet. Amy came with me cuz she felt bad that I was going to go alone...haha. We saw Cait there and sat next to her and her shores friends. Reeths-Puffer rocked the house (but what can I say, I'm REALLY biased). I quite enjoyed Jenison's show too, they have some work to do, but I hope they can bring to competition to state finals (what fun is a competition if no one is close to beating you?).
The Future:
My calling in life is becoming clear. Straingly, I think I knew it all along... I just didn't think I did for some reason.
Me and Mike Carpenter are both ticked off at the "church". I should say, what has become known as the "church" in our culture. Coincidentally, our skills and gifts fit together perfectly for Biblical church leadership. It's actually not a coincidence... I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in God's plan.
I know now that someday I will start a Biblical church with Mike Carpenter. For now, I wait patiently, prepare, and pray. I would appreciate your prayers for this. Like I was talking about above, by saying that I believe God is going to do huge things, I am proudly putting a big fat target on my chest. I will embrace my target, because if it wasn't there I must be going the wrong way.
In the meantime, I still lack a job, temporary direction, and a college degree; I would also appreciate your prayers on that.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Its a pretty good day
So, no deep thoughts right now, just news in Nate's life
Casey Butler is coming today!!! oh yeah... life is good.
Mike Carpenter might come today!! its like a party
I'm hungry
I bought a pinch of stock today. I don't really have any money to spend, but stock is SOO cheap right now, I couldn't resist. I just decided on an amount of money that I would be dissapointed, but not crushed, if I lost; then I bought as many shares as I could for that. It's like an experiment for me, I am very intrigued. So I will watch and wait... prolly for a really long time.
My super awesome shirt finally came today! it is my new favorite shirt.
but other things that I wanted in the mail havent come yet :-(
peace out
Casey Butler is coming today!!! oh yeah... life is good.
Mike Carpenter might come today!! its like a party
I'm hungry
I bought a pinch of stock today. I don't really have any money to spend, but stock is SOO cheap right now, I couldn't resist. I just decided on an amount of money that I would be dissapointed, but not crushed, if I lost; then I bought as many shares as I could for that. It's like an experiment for me, I am very intrigued. So I will watch and wait... prolly for a really long time.
My super awesome shirt finally came today! it is my new favorite shirt.
but other things that I wanted in the mail havent come yet :-(
peace out
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Sharing, and Trials? bring it on!
I am still intrigued by the first church and their policy of sharing. It seems that, to them, following Jesus meant having no "personal" property, but rather sharing everything they had with the other believers. Homes, food, money, everything!
It seems like such a beautiful picture of what we are to look like as the Body of Christ. It says in Acts that no one in their church had ANY needs because they shared everything they had.
My question is, why don't we, the church, still live like that? It seemed to work well for them... maybe we should be taking notes.
Different train of thought:
Mike's blog got me thinking a little. The Bible is clear that trials bring learning among other good things. Have you ever asked God specifically for trials in your life so that you can learn? It goes against human nature in every way. I submit that this very request is something we should ask God for everyday. Lets face it, the trials are coming whether we want them here or not; so asking for them to come will create much more of a learning environment when they do come.
It seems like such a beautiful picture of what we are to look like as the Body of Christ. It says in Acts that no one in their church had ANY needs because they shared everything they had.
My question is, why don't we, the church, still live like that? It seemed to work well for them... maybe we should be taking notes.
Different train of thought:
Mike's blog got me thinking a little. The Bible is clear that trials bring learning among other good things. Have you ever asked God specifically for trials in your life so that you can learn? It goes against human nature in every way. I submit that this very request is something we should ask God for everyday. Lets face it, the trials are coming whether we want them here or not; so asking for them to come will create much more of a learning environment when they do come.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Confession of a Christian: Christians are dumb
welp, I haven't posted anything today so here we go. I promise it will be short, cuz its late and I'm tired!
It seems everyday I get more and more disturbed by Christians in America. A minister at a McCain rally today gave an invocation and said we should pray for McCain to win because every other major religion is praying for Obama to win. A minister? glad I don't attend that church. How about you don't say anything at all so that you stop making yourself sound dumb.
Again, I have not decided who I am voting for; but how about we stop praying for what WE want and start praying for what GOD wants. When did we start thinking that we got this figured out and we obviously need to inform God on the correct strategy here because He is unaware.
Lets stop proving to the rest of the world that we (Christians) are so wrapped up in ourselves and what we want. It's not about me, its not about you... and it's always about God.
I thought about putting that up on facebook, but I need to start not writing facebook notes when I'm tired... that way, more careful language can be chosen so I don't tick too many people off. not that I'm saying I don't truly believe what I said above even when I'm more awake... there's just a real good possibility I could say it in a more convincing, yet less angry manor. Ok, I'll stop explaining myself, I don't think I really need to here.
Peace out
It seems everyday I get more and more disturbed by Christians in America. A minister at a McCain rally today gave an invocation and said we should pray for McCain to win because every other major religion is praying for Obama to win. A minister? glad I don't attend that church. How about you don't say anything at all so that you stop making yourself sound dumb.
Again, I have not decided who I am voting for; but how about we stop praying for what WE want and start praying for what GOD wants. When did we start thinking that we got this figured out and we obviously need to inform God on the correct strategy here because He is unaware.
Lets stop proving to the rest of the world that we (Christians) are so wrapped up in ourselves and what we want. It's not about me, its not about you... and it's always about God.
I thought about putting that up on facebook, but I need to start not writing facebook notes when I'm tired... that way, more careful language can be chosen so I don't tick too many people off. not that I'm saying I don't truly believe what I said above even when I'm more awake... there's just a real good possibility I could say it in a more convincing, yet less angry manor. Ok, I'll stop explaining myself, I don't think I really need to here.
Peace out
Friday, October 10, 2008
mmhmm... shots
well, today I go to get my shots. This should prove to be a good time. All 6 of them :-)
I saw on the news that Obama has bought a half hour primetime tv spot on both NBC and CBS for the end of the month... how weird is that? I'm intrigued... thats a dang long commercial. I'll prolly watch it though, if I'm not doing something better at the time.
So I saw a dang nice car yesterday on the road and it got me on a nice car kick for a bit. In other words... I looked up really nice cars online just to look at them. It wasn't even lusting though, because I was so disgusted that someone would spend that kind of cash on something so... temporary.
So, the fastest, best accelerating, most horse power, most torque... etc is the Bugatti Veyron which costs $1,700,000
it gets 6mpg on the highway
and 2.5 mpg going top speed... which is 253.8mph precisely 1/3 of the speed of sound
at which speed you would use the entire gas tank in 12 minutes. Which is a good thing because you would need a whole new set of tires after 15 minutes.
Sometimes i wish i had that kind of cash... but I can assure you, it wouldn't go towards that lame car. meh... I'd prolly give most of it to camp... haha
speaking of money:
Economists are starting to admit that if the financial situation is not soon corrected we could have another great depression on our hands. I saw that coming for a while... glad they caught up. People still say "we can't have a great depression again because our savings are federally insured". ok... but don't you think that that is putting quite a bit of faith in a faulty government? we are in 10 trillian dollars of debt, do you think the government can afford to come up with that kind of cash if the banks fail? of course, they would have to by law... which means they would just make it in their mints, dropping the worth of the Dollar, increasing inflation dramatically and... wait... causing a great depression. seems like simple enough logic to me.
welp... time for shots! wish me luck!
I saw on the news that Obama has bought a half hour primetime tv spot on both NBC and CBS for the end of the month... how weird is that? I'm intrigued... thats a dang long commercial. I'll prolly watch it though, if I'm not doing something better at the time.
So I saw a dang nice car yesterday on the road and it got me on a nice car kick for a bit. In other words... I looked up really nice cars online just to look at them. It wasn't even lusting though, because I was so disgusted that someone would spend that kind of cash on something so... temporary.
So, the fastest, best accelerating, most horse power, most torque... etc is the Bugatti Veyron which costs $1,700,000
it gets 6mpg on the highway
and 2.5 mpg going top speed... which is 253.8mph precisely 1/3 of the speed of sound
at which speed you would use the entire gas tank in 12 minutes. Which is a good thing because you would need a whole new set of tires after 15 minutes.
Sometimes i wish i had that kind of cash... but I can assure you, it wouldn't go towards that lame car. meh... I'd prolly give most of it to camp... haha
speaking of money:
Economists are starting to admit that if the financial situation is not soon corrected we could have another great depression on our hands. I saw that coming for a while... glad they caught up. People still say "we can't have a great depression again because our savings are federally insured". ok... but don't you think that that is putting quite a bit of faith in a faulty government? we are in 10 trillian dollars of debt, do you think the government can afford to come up with that kind of cash if the banks fail? of course, they would have to by law... which means they would just make it in their mints, dropping the worth of the Dollar, increasing inflation dramatically and... wait... causing a great depression. seems like simple enough logic to me.
welp... time for shots! wish me luck!
New Strategy
I need a new strategy... Whatever I am doing now to try and change my sleeping pattern isn't working. Again, I can't sleep. Any suggestions?
I've never before had this problem... I've always been able to fall asleep whenever I wanted.
I need a reason to get up in the morning. Just telling myself "you need to wake up early so you can change your sleeping pattern" isn't working, and then I am not tired when I should be going to bed.
I've never before had this problem... I've always been able to fall asleep whenever I wanted.
I need a reason to get up in the morning. Just telling myself "you need to wake up early so you can change your sleeping pattern" isn't working, and then I am not tired when I should be going to bed.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
New song... now its for real :-)
I have put up the audio for my new song on my Myspace page, I encourage you to check it out. The quality isn't the best... I obviously don't have a recording studio in my apartment :-) but I recorded it so that you would have a little audio to go along with the lyrics i posted yesterday!
and I still need a title... so hook me up with your thoughts!
http://www.myspace.com/natestorvik
The new song should play automatically
Peace out my homies
and I still need a title... so hook me up with your thoughts!
http://www.myspace.com/natestorvik
The new song should play automatically
Peace out my homies
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
New Song... need input
ok... so here is a new Nate Storvik original, but before I play it for people other than my roommate, who has to suffer through the baby stages of new songs, I want your input. should I add anything? etc...
Here is the background story
First verse: you get a story of a guy who is heavily involved in his church, church members look up to him, etc. He has been hiding a certain sin for a long time. its mostly meant to be ambiguous here as to specifics. This leaves it open to an individuals interpretation. it is obvious a serious sin in the churches eyes. when I started writing the song I was modeling it after a guy who had been hiding a homosexual lifestyle.
Second verse: This story is a little less ambiguous as you can tell. perfect church girl, has sex, gets pregnant, doesn't know where to turn because she knows the church would be judgemental. I thought about throwing in a line that hinted about her getting an abortion to hid it from the church's judgemental eyes, but i couldn't seem to get it to fit. So that part is left up to your interpretation as to whether she does or not.
also looking for a title
Here is the song
He was reading his Bible on that old black chair
Here is the background story
First verse: you get a story of a guy who is heavily involved in his church, church members look up to him, etc. He has been hiding a certain sin for a long time. its mostly meant to be ambiguous here as to specifics. This leaves it open to an individuals interpretation. it is obvious a serious sin in the churches eyes. when I started writing the song I was modeling it after a guy who had been hiding a homosexual lifestyle.
Second verse: This story is a little less ambiguous as you can tell. perfect church girl, has sex, gets pregnant, doesn't know where to turn because she knows the church would be judgemental. I thought about throwing in a line that hinted about her getting an abortion to hid it from the church's judgemental eyes, but i couldn't seem to get it to fit. So that part is left up to your interpretation as to whether she does or not.
also looking for a title
Here is the song
He was reading his Bible on that old black chair
Looking back on his life, wondering how he got there
To the church he attended, he was a jewel
He was the leader of the whole Sunday school
Since he was in high school he was spending his days
Living two lives, going two different ways
He knew that God would forgive him
But in the eyes of his church, forgiveness was slim
We are a church that needs grace more than anybody
We close the doors to the sinful, but what are we?
We’re meant to be a light, and love everybody
Jesus ate with the sinners, why don’t we?
She was just 16; she grew up in the church
She opened her Bible, but didn’t know where to search
She knew all the answers in that Sunday school chair
Since she was five, she could say the Lord’s prayer
Her perfect boyfriend wasn’t all she had dreamed
One innocent evening was more than it seemed
She was so scared and knew the church would just glare
Her stomach grew larger, people started to stare
sleep and other random thoughts
So here's my problem... I even took sleeping pills and I can't sleep. ugh.
I am trying to revert back to a 1st shift schedule and its not working...
I think the only option is to simply stay awake until tomorrow night and then sleep.
last night I tried to go to sleep at 2am and laid there for an hour. After falling asleep I proceeded to wake up every hour. although... since I think the only person who actually reads my blog everyday is Kris... that's old news.
A note on dreams. although, almost all of my dreams are completely ridiculous, plotless, and structureless, (and the ones that aren't seem to be prophetic in nature) there seems to be a common feature in almost all of them. Camp seems to make its way into almost every single dream I have somehow or another. I like to think that I am going through withdrawals... although, I am content with the scientific explanation that, since camp makes up the majority of my recent memories, it only makes sense that it would make its nightly appearances in my dreams.
Last nights debate was just annoying. for the limited time that I actually watched it, all I saw was two politicians trying to discredit the other and never talking about what they would do as president. I hate that. I still have made no decision regarding what I will do come election day... and the time is approaching. I have four options that are still on the table at this point:
vote for Obama
vote for McCain
vote for Jesus
don't vote at all and take no responsibility in my government (as no one has yet given me a good Biblical arguement as to why I should)
I am very much in the undecided column
I really want to read Rob Bell's new book. its called "Jesus wants to save Christians" It sounds amazing. I have personal bias' against Rob Bell, but after reviewing them they have only come from other people and not from things that I have personally heard Rob say. I figure I will give his new book a chance, as it looks very good, and then base my opinion of him on that.
I'm working on a new song... nothing final yet... but its been a whole year maybe since I wrote one
just talked to an old friend on facebook at 5am... good times
I am mostly leaving myspace, but while check it occasionally for those lame people without a facebook or gmail chat... or aim
yes... some people are THAT lame... haha
i will stop babeling now
and there's a new poll for yall... or you... if its true that only Kris reads this... ;-)
I am trying to revert back to a 1st shift schedule and its not working...
I think the only option is to simply stay awake until tomorrow night and then sleep.
last night I tried to go to sleep at 2am and laid there for an hour. After falling asleep I proceeded to wake up every hour. although... since I think the only person who actually reads my blog everyday is Kris... that's old news.
A note on dreams. although, almost all of my dreams are completely ridiculous, plotless, and structureless, (and the ones that aren't seem to be prophetic in nature) there seems to be a common feature in almost all of them. Camp seems to make its way into almost every single dream I have somehow or another. I like to think that I am going through withdrawals... although, I am content with the scientific explanation that, since camp makes up the majority of my recent memories, it only makes sense that it would make its nightly appearances in my dreams.
Last nights debate was just annoying. for the limited time that I actually watched it, all I saw was two politicians trying to discredit the other and never talking about what they would do as president. I hate that. I still have made no decision regarding what I will do come election day... and the time is approaching. I have four options that are still on the table at this point:
vote for Obama
vote for McCain
vote for Jesus
don't vote at all and take no responsibility in my government (as no one has yet given me a good Biblical arguement as to why I should)
I am very much in the undecided column
I really want to read Rob Bell's new book. its called "Jesus wants to save Christians" It sounds amazing. I have personal bias' against Rob Bell, but after reviewing them they have only come from other people and not from things that I have personally heard Rob say. I figure I will give his new book a chance, as it looks very good, and then base my opinion of him on that.
I'm working on a new song... nothing final yet... but its been a whole year maybe since I wrote one
just talked to an old friend on facebook at 5am... good times
I am mostly leaving myspace, but while check it occasionally for those lame people without a facebook or gmail chat... or aim
yes... some people are THAT lame... haha
i will stop babeling now
and there's a new poll for yall... or you... if its true that only Kris reads this... ;-)
Monday, October 6, 2008
Back to the old structure
My day so far:
even though by the end of the week I mildly began to enjoy my job, it took up huge amounts of my time and prevented my from being close to God... so I quit. If God wants me to have a job he will provide one that allows me to grow closer to Him, this was not it.
I had an interview this morning for a job at Wedgwood Christian Services. It went very well, and I think that I articulated myself clearly. However, I'm not sure that I want the job. It starts as just part-time on the weekends. Part-time would be ok for me... i think i would actually prefer that, but working weekends is kind of an issue. It would mean that I would have to miss youth group every other week and I'm not sure I would be willing to do that. I would love to do what the position entails... working with youth is my passion. I just don't think I can work with the schedule they are talking. I will continue with the interviewing process and see where God leads there.
Here is my thought for the day:
Why is it that Christians find the need to label everything with fishes and crosses? is my bracelet with a cross on it somehow more holy than the other one? What is the point of having that fish outline on your car other than giving Christians a bad name due to your horrible driving? Did you know that most "Christian trinkets" are made by persecuted Christian slaves in China?
I submit that the behavior of stamping everything with Christian symbols is a twisted form of gnosticism, where all matter is evil... unless of course we draw a cross on it... in that case it is clean.
Second thought of the day:
Why do we strive to look so good for Sunday morning? Where did that tradition start? I don't think the first Christians were worried about their appearance as they met in house churches. Is "you have to wear your best clothes on Sunday" really Biblical? or is it just an outdated tradition.
even though by the end of the week I mildly began to enjoy my job, it took up huge amounts of my time and prevented my from being close to God... so I quit. If God wants me to have a job he will provide one that allows me to grow closer to Him, this was not it.
I had an interview this morning for a job at Wedgwood Christian Services. It went very well, and I think that I articulated myself clearly. However, I'm not sure that I want the job. It starts as just part-time on the weekends. Part-time would be ok for me... i think i would actually prefer that, but working weekends is kind of an issue. It would mean that I would have to miss youth group every other week and I'm not sure I would be willing to do that. I would love to do what the position entails... working with youth is my passion. I just don't think I can work with the schedule they are talking. I will continue with the interviewing process and see where God leads there.
Here is my thought for the day:
Why is it that Christians find the need to label everything with fishes and crosses? is my bracelet with a cross on it somehow more holy than the other one? What is the point of having that fish outline on your car other than giving Christians a bad name due to your horrible driving? Did you know that most "Christian trinkets" are made by persecuted Christian slaves in China?
I submit that the behavior of stamping everything with Christian symbols is a twisted form of gnosticism, where all matter is evil... unless of course we draw a cross on it... in that case it is clean.
Second thought of the day:
Why do we strive to look so good for Sunday morning? Where did that tradition start? I don't think the first Christians were worried about their appearance as they met in house churches. Is "you have to wear your best clothes on Sunday" really Biblical? or is it just an outdated tradition.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Edging God Out
I have to admit, my life is a blur.
I just don't know what I have become in a matter of weeks.
How did I lose so much ground in such a short amount of time?
Where did it go? The passion, the fire, the fearlessness...
I know where it went.
God wanted me to step out on faith and trust Him.
I found myself in debt and doubt
Somewhere along the way I made an error
I decided that fixing my pocket book was more important than anything else
More important than God?!
Obviously that wasn't the intent
It turned out to be the result.
Running The Race is a difficult road
It is in a sense a war
I thought that I had a secret weapon against Satan
I lost focus
It seams Satan had a secret weapon of his own... maybe a couple
Everyone thinks Satan comes in the form of alcohol, drugs, sex, murder, hate, you know the drill
I'm sure he delights in these things
But they're by no means his secret weapon
I'm sure I haven't figured him out in every way
But I have discovered a few of his invisible tricks... the hard way
Busyness
Independence... ego
Security
My life turned into a list of things to do, but not enough time to do them
I stopped reading the Bible
I stopped praying
I essentially divorced God
And it all happened so fast...
I'm cutting it off
Throwing Satan's brilliant plan out the window
I'm fighting back
EGO: Edging God Out
I just don't know what I have become in a matter of weeks.
How did I lose so much ground in such a short amount of time?
Where did it go? The passion, the fire, the fearlessness...
I know where it went.
God wanted me to step out on faith and trust Him.
I found myself in debt and doubt
Somewhere along the way I made an error
I decided that fixing my pocket book was more important than anything else
More important than God?!
Obviously that wasn't the intent
It turned out to be the result.
Running The Race is a difficult road
It is in a sense a war
I thought that I had a secret weapon against Satan
I lost focus
It seams Satan had a secret weapon of his own... maybe a couple
Everyone thinks Satan comes in the form of alcohol, drugs, sex, murder, hate, you know the drill
I'm sure he delights in these things
But they're by no means his secret weapon
I'm sure I haven't figured him out in every way
But I have discovered a few of his invisible tricks... the hard way
Busyness
Independence... ego
Security
My life turned into a list of things to do, but not enough time to do them
I stopped reading the Bible
I stopped praying
I essentially divorced God
And it all happened so fast...
I'm cutting it off
Throwing Satan's brilliant plan out the window
I'm fighting back
EGO: Edging God Out
Friday, October 3, 2008
I would never do this for a living... but for now, ok
wow... what a lame life I am living at the moment. nothing worth writing has happened since my post last night.
I would rather be homeless than do this for a living all the time. here is the daily schedule: suffer through work, come home, check email, go to bed, wake up, check email, eat, go to work... such is my life. The sad thing is there are people that do this for years and years. no way... Maybe if I enjoyed my work and it was something that I wouldn't mind consuming all of my time. such as working at camp would fall into that category. That is ok... but not a work that i would have to suffer through.
possibly doing a laundry marathon tomorrow, should be a good time.
so there is this machine at work that I helped out at last night. its a paper cutter. it cuts through 1000 sheets of paper like a hot knife through butter. I was impressed.
sorry, I don't have three things today... nothing has happened. tune in tomorrow
I would rather be homeless than do this for a living all the time. here is the daily schedule: suffer through work, come home, check email, go to bed, wake up, check email, eat, go to work... such is my life. The sad thing is there are people that do this for years and years. no way... Maybe if I enjoyed my work and it was something that I wouldn't mind consuming all of my time. such as working at camp would fall into that category. That is ok... but not a work that i would have to suffer through.
possibly doing a laundry marathon tomorrow, should be a good time.
so there is this machine at work that I helped out at last night. its a paper cutter. it cuts through 1000 sheets of paper like a hot knife through butter. I was impressed.
sorry, I don't have three things today... nothing has happened. tune in tomorrow
Dream
well, its not the right time of day, so this is not one of my "daily posts"... its just not right if its not 6ish in the evening.
I just wanted to say something.
I had a dream the other night... about 5 days ago, that really stood out to me. I kinda mentioned it in a previous post. Let me start by saying that dreams for me are normally unorganized, chaotic, and have no plot. from time to time I will remember them, but not too often vividly. This dream was different though... and it's been haunting me for 5 days now because of that. I was at something like a train station. The whitley boys were there with me. The whole thing had something to do with camp, but that part isn't clear. anyway, there was a train accident just beyond the station and everyone on the train died instantly. The details of the accident are rather fuzzy too, but everyone was kind of vaporized actually. Neither me or the Whitley boys were on it, we were still at the station... but it seemed that we knew people on it.
Only one other dream within the last 10 years has ever been as clear... that other dream... was a dream that changed my life.
creepy
I just wanted to say something.
I had a dream the other night... about 5 days ago, that really stood out to me. I kinda mentioned it in a previous post. Let me start by saying that dreams for me are normally unorganized, chaotic, and have no plot. from time to time I will remember them, but not too often vividly. This dream was different though... and it's been haunting me for 5 days now because of that. I was at something like a train station. The whitley boys were there with me. The whole thing had something to do with camp, but that part isn't clear. anyway, there was a train accident just beyond the station and everyone on the train died instantly. The details of the accident are rather fuzzy too, but everyone was kind of vaporized actually. Neither me or the Whitley boys were on it, we were still at the station... but it seemed that we knew people on it.
Only one other dream within the last 10 years has ever been as clear... that other dream... was a dream that changed my life.
creepy
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Judgmental
So I was driving by a church today that I drive by nearly everyday. I have thought in the past "hey, that seems like a pretty nice church". Today, the sign out front reads "give God what's right not what's left"
Ok, if I was a new Christian and looking for a good church that would be accepting, and I saw that sign, I would be like "wow... ok judgmental church... moving on"
Telling people who to vote for on a church sign, helping the kingdom or hindering it? what are your thoughts?
3 things:
I got my hair cut... mmhmm
There was a house fire in Ottawa county that claimed the lives of 4 people a few days ago. Yesterday, autopsies revealed they were dead before the fire... murder...
I have no addition opinion on this story... i just thought it was intriguing.
For lack of something better... Google maps failed me again today... i went to the wrong side of town.
Ok, if I was a new Christian and looking for a good church that would be accepting, and I saw that sign, I would be like "wow... ok judgmental church... moving on"
Telling people who to vote for on a church sign, helping the kingdom or hindering it? what are your thoughts?
3 things:
I got my hair cut... mmhmm
There was a house fire in Ottawa county that claimed the lives of 4 people a few days ago. Yesterday, autopsies revealed they were dead before the fire... murder...
I have no addition opinion on this story... i just thought it was intriguing.
For lack of something better... Google maps failed me again today... i went to the wrong side of town.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Interview
So working full-time is kinda lame. The apartment is getting sad... especially the kitchen.
This one is going to be short cuz I don't have a lot of time.
I was woken up at 1 in the afternoon today by a phone call from Wedgwood christian services. This is the place that i wanted to get a job at real bad. So i am like 3/4 asleep and they asked me to come in for an interview on monday! Praise God! So please be praying for me on that note, thanks. So then, I could not go back to sleep... since adrenaline had just been shot into my system from that news... lame... but I eventually did.
3 things:
I had to go to a meeting about the future of a company that I don't care about
The Chinese gymnasts were declared "old enough" by the powers that be... that just ticks me off. What is even the point of having an age restriction if a country can just make up documents and lie about people's age. I don't care what their paper's said... those gymnasts were not 16, no way, no how. I would put them at 14 max.
Jesse Cochrane got a facebook! I had to pinch myself.
This one is going to be short cuz I don't have a lot of time.
I was woken up at 1 in the afternoon today by a phone call from Wedgwood christian services. This is the place that i wanted to get a job at real bad. So i am like 3/4 asleep and they asked me to come in for an interview on monday! Praise God! So please be praying for me on that note, thanks. So then, I could not go back to sleep... since adrenaline had just been shot into my system from that news... lame... but I eventually did.
3 things:
I had to go to a meeting about the future of a company that I don't care about
The Chinese gymnasts were declared "old enough" by the powers that be... that just ticks me off. What is even the point of having an age restriction if a country can just make up documents and lie about people's age. I don't care what their paper's said... those gymnasts were not 16, no way, no how. I would put them at 14 max.
Jesse Cochrane got a facebook! I had to pinch myself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)