I'm having a hard time getting my mind to focus back on homework again after I had to take a break and go to an appointment. So, I figured I would do this for a bit.
What I have feared most about coming back to America is indeed happening. I knew it would, yet I tried and tried to fight it. I'm losing the passion. I find myself buried in a stack of school books as I watch the passion for my new love drain away. It's so easy, it seems, to ease back into that state of apathy from which I came.
I knew why it would happen too, and yet there was nothing I could do about it. You see, apathy is contagious. It's a nasty virus that runs rampant in America, and I knew that I would catch it when I got back.
I even knew where I would catch it. Most people avoid a place if they know it contains a disease, but lets face it, I can't avoid the church; and I shouldn't.
The church...
After reading about the church in the Bible, it's the last place I would expect to find such a disease, but sadly it triumphs uncontrolled in the American church.
I am so frustrated by the Bureaucracy of the churches I am trying to work with. I am growing increasingly impatient of the system. The system is where good ideas go to die. I still have hope, but realistically, I am quite aware that my passionate plans will likely not make it out alive.
Before you think that I hate the church let me clarify. I am frustrated with the church to be sure. Never-the-less, the church is my mother, and God is still moving through it. I love the church and without it I would not be here.
That is all for now.
1 comment:
Man, I hear ya. Obviously, GR is no Africa, but didn't you love serving at the Boiler room? Ever since we were there, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I loved how Tony (I think that was his name) said that Love Feast is a good representation of what how heaven will be...different people, different backgrounds, different incomes, different skin colors...but the same heart for God....
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