A change in vision: Love God

Hello friends! 

As you may know, I live in downtown Grand Rapids.  Let me start with a recap of that experience.  2 years ago I felt very strongly that the Lord was calling me to move into the heart of the city.  I wanted the house to be a ministry that loved the neighborhood and loved on the neighborhood and spoke the truth of Jesus Christ in the neighborhood.  I decided to purchase a house because it made more sense than renting.  As soon as I walked in the door of my house for the first time I knew that it was the house God had for this.  It just felt right.  We prayed over it and I moved in.  And then... it was tough, it was hard, it was discouraging, it was lonely.  Have you ever been lonely in a group of people?  At times I felt alone in my vision.  People came and went through my house and I was always in good company, but only 1 other person was ever pumped about reaching the neighborhood, and neither of us are gifted at initiating contact with people.   There were pieces of the puzzle that God never provided.  And it was seemingly unfruitful.  And it was discouraging.  

As I sit here and look back on the last 2 years I have begun to see that I was looking for fruit in the wrong place.  That, all the while, God was using the house to help the 9 different people that have lived there, including myself, and many people that walked through the door.   I can't speak for the others, but God used the house to change me, to challenge me, to stretch me, and to teach me not to idolize "ministry".  Ministry is not the goal, loving God with all your heart is the goal; ministry is an outpouring of that love.  He taught me the hard way that idolizing ministry will leave you feeling defeated when it doesn't work the way you had planned.  But when we love God with all our heart, then all our hope is in Christ and Him alone.  If all of our joy is in Christ, then we won't have any less joy when things (even ministry) don't go as planned.  In fact, Romans 5 says that because of this we can rejoice in our sufferings because they produce perseverance. 

Then... God led me to a youth pastor position in Muskegon.  As I got more and more involved in Muskegon I began to really question why God had me move into Grand Rapids in the first place.  It was, as it seemed, a short unfruitful ministry that I was abandoning.  Then He tells me things like "it's okay, trust me. it's not your ministry, it's my ministry.  It's bigger than you. You need to let go."  I don't know what God's going to do through that house, but I know he's going to do great things and I'm not going to be there for it, and I'm okay with that.  I've let go.  I'm in a transition period where I'm praying and seeking the Lord's direction, but I am exploring the possibility of moving to Muskegon.   I spent a couple of weeks actually mourning the decision until I was able to detach myself from my house and my vision for it, in order to realign myself with God's vision.  I think it's really important to be in the same community as the church you're involved in.  There are a lot of pieces that I am trusting God to put into place here, so I greatly covet your prayers.