Yesterday I wrote a status on Facebook and then I took it
down a few minutes later because I realized it sounded like the people I get
annoyed by on Facebook. It sounded like
a plea for attention. Since I didn't
feel like elaborating to show that it wasn't, I took it down. Perhaps a blog post is a better medium to
communicate deeper thoughts than a quick status.
Being isolated has given me plenty of time to ponder why I
feel isolated. That's a process that has
not been particularly enjoyable. Any
time you have to peer into yourself for analysis through the lens of scripture,
it's not fun. You end up hearing God say
"see this over here, that's pride." "this thing over here,
that's selfishness". The answers I've
found so far are pretty complicated and I certainly won't cover it all here.
I'm tired of the status quo.
With the way that our culture works.
Everyone's priorities are so wack.
I went to a seminar at the missions conference about the different
things that people value in different cultures.
I realized that this is why I get frustrated and discouraged. The things that this culture values do not
line up with the things I value. I value
lifelong friendships, but this culture has no sense of commitment. We're so ADD when it comes to building friendships. We just get distracted and jump to the next
thing in life. Our life goals,
professions, desires, whatever, are more important than friends, and so when
the time comes we leave them behind. And
so I've lived this cycle my whole adult life of fully investing in a friendship
just to have them move on to higher priorities.
I don't blame you for that, it's the way we were raised, it's our
culture. But every time it gets harder to invest in the next friendship.
I write all this so that you, brothers and sisters in
Christ, can understand me a little better.
When I admit to being lonely, it is not a plea for attention, but nearly
the opposite. It's an admission that I'm
scared to cultivate new deep friendships because I fear they won't last. And that is an issue of selfishness that my
prideful self has a difficult time admitting.
A few of my friendships, though separated geographically now, are still very precious to me and to the other person. Overcoming the obstacles of physical distance is worth the fight. I'm glad you guys think so too. You know who you are. It hurts my heart not having you nearby.
A few of my friendships, though separated geographically now, are still very precious to me and to the other person. Overcoming the obstacles of physical distance is worth the fight. I'm glad you guys think so too. You know who you are. It hurts my heart not having you nearby.
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